Brain Dead Serious

Discourse Analysis

The art of conversation is the discipline of discussing things other than the matter at hand that begs to be discussed. Nobody should ever mention or even hint at the stinky elephant in the room unless it’s a matter of life and death at the heels of that elephant. It’s just propriety and respect towards the other person who rightly expects your darndest to beat around the bush and essentially obfuscate any information that points to the T word.

So. If I like to talk about how your presence makes me feel real uncomfortable, I’ll probably just kick off a conversation about today’s traffic. Or if you’re the kind of person who I honestly can’t connect with on any genuine level, I think I’ll just have a little chat about your job.

When I’m thinking your mole is sucking in the entire universe, prepare to hear something about the cloudy weather.

And if one of these days, I get truly tempted to say you actually post the same angle of your face too much on Facebook, anticipate a tangential topic along the lines of–Have you seen that funny video of a sombrero-wearing cat riding a bicycle?

Your boyfriend reminds me of a rotating spit of kebab–Where’s the best place to eat Persian?

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