Brain Dead Serious

Artful Obfuscation Vol. 1

And now for a round of artful obfuscation where we render normal sentences and phrases completely unintelligible and therefore unmistakeably deep by replacing the final word or phrase with something random the reader does not expect. For clarity of the current venture, we will put the last term in bold and all caps.

Let us begin:

Your face is bright as the morning BIRD PLUMAGE.

And when I looked into her eyes, I knew that I have fallen in love with CHIAROSCURO.

Woke up this morning with a sense of THE THIRD REICH.

He couldn’t tell what she was thinking because she’s a MISSED TRAIN STOP.

There’s nothing here for us because we’re KIDS EATING WORMS IN THE PLAYGROUND.

I thought I had it but the world isn’t MOTHER’S HORRIBLY BLAND CHICKEN SOUP.

You and I both know it’s either here or THE OILY KEYS ON A LAPTOP.

I swear I won’t talk about love but it’s A LAB FULL OF DEAD RATS CRAWLING.

Wine, cheese, and MECHANICAL APOCALYPSE DOLLS

How could I resist when she’s sitting there A RIPPED PAGE OF AN OLD CATALOG FOR FAKE JEWELRY?

Winking, smiling, at my STOLEN EGYPTIAN SARCOPHAGUS

They’ll try to catch us from now until PAUL MCCARTNEY PUTS ON HIS SUNDAY TROUSERS.

He’d like a slice of pizza. She’d like a TISSUE WITH EMILY’S NUMBER ON IT.

It’s great to live but it’s better to PLUCK OUT A GIANT TADPOLE’S EYE.

And that’s it for this round of artful obfuscation. ‘Til next time, EXPIRED CANS OF MUSHROOMS!

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