Brain Dead Serious

Further Studies Required

In the news today, a speaker for the Land Transportation Office said they are pushing through with the plan to increase toll fares but that it would require further study. The public will remember that a similar bill to increase train fares had also gone through a number of further studies before everyone was told that it was definitely a go. Aside from toll fares, the government is also expected to announce that water and power bills are bound to significantly increase, though these will require further study. In related news, plans for updating automatic voting machines for the coming election are rolling along, although a Commission on Elections source is quick to say that this would require further study, and a further bidding in case the public wants a more trustworthy company to handle the next elections. Furthermore, further research is required to once and for all confirm the reliability of these machines, which were used in 2010 and 2013 after several further studies. Those further studies, of course, all happened without anybody ever understanding what really went on during those further studies, as is the case for every project ever to require further studies. A further study of this news piece reveals that it was written hurriedly and without any purpose in mind but to keep repeating the phrase ‘a further study.’ And a further study of your life reveals that you, in fact, didn’t study enough in high school and college, which is why you have such a shitty job. Further studies won’t get you anywhere now because it is too late though it’s funny that some people actually get paid more in the job market once they have acquired a certain number of further studies. A further reading in this matter is definitely unnecessary but you wouldn’t really do that because nobody has ever, in the history of man, taken “further reading” quite seriously. Further studies on the composition of the human brain suggest humans are averse to a complex barrage of stimulus such as further reading, further research, supplemental data, supplemental material, and further studies. But nevertheless, further study is needed to assess the value of this news bit for presently, it most certainly lacks sense though it has an abundance of further studies.

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